Magical Wishes

Today is one of those days you dare to hope for....the one where you make a wish and it comes true.  It was the day that all the stars aligned and joy was the end result.

• Turkey went in and cooked itself to perfection.
• Vegetables behaved and came out at the same time as the turkey.
• Christmas crafts were bought and young children were entertained and thankful.
• The wine was the perfect compliment to the meal.
• An ex-husband came and all the words around the table were kind and carried no ill will.
• The planning and execution of the meal was a ballet of two women...The mother and the oldest daughter doing a dance of unspoken steps and timeless rrhythm. No wasted movement between them.
• Men, grateful for full bellies, taking over the kitchen duties of cleaning and storing leftover food.

Today was magical with its promise of hope and its ending of love and peacce.  Thanksgiving meals have been carried out from start to finish by one person for so long that I had forgotten what a gift it is to carry it with someone.  I believe it made the food better....it made me better!

Happy early Thanksgiving

Generations

Eight years ago my oldest daughter moved to Pennsylvania with my second granddaughter.  I couldn't imagine traveling the distance to see them.  But here we are so many years later and I travel up so often that I believe my car knows the way without me.  My sweet husband and always come bearing gifts.  More often than not, I bring food!  It is the language I speak when I want to communicate love.  I stock her freezer and whisk her off to the grocery store to stock up.  It makes me happy and sets my mind at ease when I leave.....I know that for the next month or two they will have food.  

Since that time eight years ago, two more children have come along to call me Nona...the Italian name for Grandma.....and another one will arrive in May.

We arrived on the winds of a cold front.  The low temperatures and hills dotted with white lights made it feel as if the holiday season had begun.  Once we unpacked our bags, we were informed that a fireworks show was about to begin in their little borough.   Walking a few blocks with neighbors we got to see experience a firework show that marked the beginning of the holiday season here.  Woo hoo!

After a delicious dinner at an Irish pub, we did some grocery shopping.  Inspired by all the holiday spirit we grabbed the fixings for an early Thanksgiving meal. Tomorrow the language will be food and for me it will translate to love.  An unplanned family feast.  But until then, this little girl and I will sit side by side drinking tea and write.

Sticks and Stones

Our daughter and granddaughter share our home with us and we live in a popular type of home called a split foyer that has two complete living areas upstairs and downstairs.  It is what makes our arrangement work.  While passing through their area on my way to the laundry room the other evening, I was asked by my granddaughter if I wanted to sit and watch a movie with them.  I had so many things to do that my first inclination was to thank her and gently decline her offer.  But I decided to sit for a moment and watch a small bit of the movie. 

Maleficent was the chosen movie for the night. I wasn't particularly thrilled with the thought of watching a "kid" movie, but it grabbed me from the beginning and 90 minutes or so later, I was so glad I had been invited and had decided to stay.

The storyline was a departure from the traditional Sleeping Beauty story.  Told from Aurora's point of view, we discover a different side to Maleficent.  If you haven't seen it, stop now because there are some spoilers here.  Maleficent is not quite as evil as we have been led to believe.  Instead she is a woman hurt and destroyed by someone she loved and who she thought loved her.  Betrayed and devastated she uses rage and revenge as her defenses.  Bitterness takes root and as an act of revenge she uses her words to curse an innocent child.....the offspring of the one who hurt her so badly. 

The original fairytale insists that true loves first kiss will break the curse placed on Aurora, but in this version it is simply love that sets them all free.  Maleficent reverts back to her true self slowly as she watches  the child she cursed grow and play, day after day and year after year.  And as her defenses crumble, her heart is once gain endowed with generosity and love.  But she finds that words spoken cannot be taken back. 

It was at this point in the movie that I was deeply moved because I know I have been in that situation many times as so many of us have.  We have spoken words that came from a place of anger, jealousy, hatred or fear.  We have said things that cannot be unheard or unspoken.  The hearer has been injured by the curses spoken and the person speaking is injured as well.  Sometimes it even feels good to get the last word or even a jab at someone who has betrayed us or caused us harm.  But the curse cannot be revoked and the wounds must heal if possible. Once the emotion driven situation has returned to normal and we realize what we have done, it takes so much to apologize and try to reverse the damage caused by thoughtlessly spoken words. 

As most fairy tales do, this story ended well.  Maleficent's curse was eventually broken by true love.  A love that seeks the best for others and has forgiveness at the core.  It is a wise person who knows how to keep a guard at their mouth and think before they speak, but if the damage has been done confession is good for the soul and forgiveness heals the forgiven and the one extending grace.

But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger....

                              May we live by this rule!

NaBloPoMo

I mentioned that I had signed up for the challenge of NaBloPoMo ,(National Blog Post Month), on November 1, thanks to a friend I have never met, but a sister blogger who is pretty awesome at combining words into a treasured read.  I have signed up for NaNoWriMo, (National Novel Writing Month), in the past but have not been able to make it to the coveted 50,000 word goal. 

I have been working at the craft of hair styling for almost 17 years now and it is a job that has saved me in many ways.  That must be a post for a later date.  That said, I wish they made these lovely "do it every day all month long" challenges for another month.  I am incredibly busy during November due to the upcoming holidays and the decoration of the house and it makes it an added challenge to get a post up everyday.  I have missed two and feel a little disappointed in myself. 

This morning I woke up and remembered that I had been too tired to post last night.  Too tired, in fact, to remember to post.  My body and brain were mush and once I shoved some delicious dinner into my face, I was out for the night.  But as I prepared for my long work day today, I began to ask myself why I agree to accept the challenge and why I would contemplate beating myself up over a swing and a miss....so to speak.  I signed up for a jump start back into writing but  I had no good answers for beating myself up over not keeping up with the pace so,  I decided to let it go. 

I love writing and I love trying to master the ability to put into words what my heart and mind feel and think.  I have time while blow drying clients to carry on delightful conversations with myself and to ponder some of the topics that are discussed in my chair.  So I am hoping to grab onto something during the day today and process it until I finish around 8 tonight and am able to put it here.

Moral of this whole post?  I am in charge of every challenge that comes my way.  I must play the cards I'm dealt and be kind to myself along the way.  Here's to hoping you are kind to yourself when the expectations you have laid down aren't quite met.

Taking care of our own

I was watching the television and heard Jon Stewart talking about being apart of the big songfest in Washington, DC to honor our vets.  He said something that struck a cord with me because I have lived it's truth.  He said...and I am just paraphrasing....

 We are great at making veterans, but not so great at taking care of them.

He could not have been more right.  It has been said that old men make wars and young men fight them.  I have seen the after affects of war within my own household, both as a young child and as a mother and mother in law. 

When my father returned from his fifth tour in Vietnam, my brothers and I were cautioned about waking up my father from within a particular distance.  He woke suddenly and was likely to see you as an enemy before he realized you were his child.  I remember hearing my mother's voice calling to my father in the middle of the night and finding her standing in the kitchen dressed in her robe and looking out into the back yard.  My father was out there walking around unaware that he was in a backyard in Virginia Beach, Virginia.  His mind was still fighting a war on a distant land.  He never spoke about his time there as an pilot where he flew both jets with bombs to deploy and helicopters to go into a hot zone and rescue his fellow warriors.

And then I was a mother who watched her son sent to war. He volunteered to become a Marine at 17 years old.  An indecent age to swear allegiance to a country that is willing to use your young soul to fight a war. He was sent three times to that war zone and every time he came home I saw less of the boy I had given birth to and raised, and more of a man losing himself in the violence he had to see and participate in. 

He was a veteran now at 23 years old and once on American soil, we could find no one to help him. Just brown bags of drugs handed to him in an effort to dull the images of war.  No one really knew how to help him or the thousands of men and women just like him. We have consistently begged for the Veterans Administration to help....but have been shocked at the apathy and disinterest of those we have seen.

To paraphrase Jon Stewart again...We are great at making veterans, but not so great at taking care of them. 

They don't need the songs of musicians that will fade with the morning light.  But the money spent on putting together an event, like the one on tonight, would be better spent funding programs that work in connecting with out vets and helping them become the men and women they were meant to be.

http://www.somegaveall.org/

http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/

http://www.puppiesbehindbars.com/home

http://www.fisherhouse.org/

Veterans Day

I am sandwiched within a generation of Marines.  My father.  My father in law.  My brother.            My son.  My son in law.

A legacy of protection and serving a country of their own free will. 

I am the daughter of a Marine.

The daughter in law of a Marine.

The mother of a Marine.

The mother in law of a Marine.

The sister of a Marine.

I have been to many continents.

Withstood change.

Adapted to new cultures.

Adapt and overcome.

The motto of the Marines.  The reality of my life.

Thank you Veterans

No one but the families know what you have sacrificed on our behalf.

Day 9 NaBloPoMo ~ Day 2 DC

I get that I am at the back half of my fifth decade on earth and that my body is not one of a younger woman.  All of that was made even more evident on the second day in DC  with my brother and his teenage girls.  My feet and hips hurt.  My back is wondering where the easy life went to.  And my brain is mush with all of the museum education I received.

Lessons I learned ~

• Always make sure you grab everything you brought with you when leaving the Metro (especially your cell phone....sorry brother, I hope you figure out a way to get your contacts)
• Tennis shoes are better for walking in than Danskos
• Don't hydrate like you do at home where there is a readily available bathroom
• The cafeteria at the American History Museum is good but expensive
• Drunk people on the Metro are fun to watch 
• Sometimes teenagers do know the answers (thanks to Isabella for getting us back on the blue line and back home)
• My husband can make a delicious pork chop/mashed potato/broccoli dinner while I'm off running around Washington
• My couch and Ibuprofen are two of my best friends

I do actually have an interesting post for tomorrow night that I look forward to sharing, but that will have to wait.  My pillow is calling and I must answer!