Saturday, January 30, 2010

The End of January 2010

Here we are at the end of January 2010.  I feel like I have blinked  and ended up missing this month.  I can recall almost everything that happened so I know I lived through it well, I am just surprised at how quickly it has gone by.  Here and gone.  And it is ending on a magical note.  Well magical for me.  It is snowing.  I wasn't looking forward to the snow this time around.  Not after the big dump last month.  22" or more that caused the Fredericksburg area to shut down.  I lost work because people couldn't get to me.  I secretly enjoyed the imposed confinement.  I couldn't get out and folks couldn't get in.  And then, I was done.  So when today's snow was predicted, I rolled my eyes and hoped that this time, the weatherman was wrong. ~~~  He was and he wasn't.  We didn't get the 5" to 8", we got 10" to 12".  Oh happy day.  It came down floating on a breeze which switched to gusts from time to time.  We were wiser this time around.  We got on top of things and shoveled early and often.  Then it was time to hunker down and play inside.  That same imposed confinement that releases the soul from feeling guilty about down leaving the house in a dance of busyness that really produces little for all it's effort. 
I went to the most favorite room of my house ~ my craft room.  I am going on a trip the end of February with girlfriends who enjoy crafting in ways that feed their own soul.  And that trip encompasses so many favorite components.  Other women of a like mind, crafting, movies, music and best of all...the beach.  I am a fan of the beach in the summer, but the beach in the winter is a different friend.  Her colors are different and she speaks with a bolder voice.  I look forward to the photographs that I can take with either a bright light that will be watery from the winter sun and lack a sense of warmth or the photgraphs that will be shot in flat light with a dullness that suggests the absence of life on a cold day near the water.  I long for the crash of waves and a distant sound of gulls on a blowing wind.  So today, I sat in my craft room and waded through 20 years of memories.  Pictures of faces much younger than the ones I see today.  My children as they once were....children searching out the way of their future journey.  I came across cards extolling my virtues of a Mother and of their promised unconditional love for me.  Their sweet faces peered back over several years and I was transported back to a time that was full of hardship but now tinged with a sweetness I didn't expect.  I came across pictures of my own mother, long gone from this world for 13 years. Pictures of her when she was younger than I am now.  And a pictures of her last year with me.  Several of these photos of her face smiling at me caused me to gasp with the overwhelming yearning I felt to hear her voice.  What a wonderful day today. 
So January is over at midnight tomorrow.  The month has held some good times with friends and some hard times in and out of the ER.  No results to know what has caused my body to begin acting out of character.  But I was blessed my friends who brought me lunches and dinners, flowers and cards and a quick witted conversation while we watched entertaining movies.  Enjoying time with my husband while I recovered.  Another time of imposed quietness that I tried to embrace for my own good.
So tomorrow I will plan February.  And then I will be surprised when new things take place without my planning them.  Both good and bad.  Tomorrow I will retreat to my craft room again.  I will watch the neighborhood wake up and play in the snow and I may even see a grandchild or two.  Farewell January....I am glad to start anew.